i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
