in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
