his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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