I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize