You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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