listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Randomize
