Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
