Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
