I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
