at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize