Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
