I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
