well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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