There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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