just come out here and I will go home with you...
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
