Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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