Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
