Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
