i don't like sucking hair
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
