I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize
