I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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