he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
