just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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