dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
false alarm. still invincible.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
