What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
