you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
