so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
