He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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