I think my vagina is haunted
are you so shy because you have an std?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
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