he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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