come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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