Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
