Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
