Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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