If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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