She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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