Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
