I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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