If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We have so much sex to catch up on
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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