have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
