the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
