obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
