I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
