so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
