there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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