You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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