btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
