Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
be right there i have to get my cape
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
