i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
