I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Randomize
