tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
