I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
