so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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