apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
