i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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