I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
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