Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
