True but thats because hes a fetus.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
