I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
