DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
