Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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