I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
