It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
